Delayed Reactions

When I signed my contract with the publishers for Lesser Lives, I was at the top of the world.  I was finally going to be an author, with a book to my name! And when you are a first-time anything, you have big dreams; I too have mine.  I would look through the display windows of bookshops and imagine seeing copies of my book there.  I would hold learned conversations in my head about my book, sign imaginary copies for my readers…in short, I would do everything that a pragmatic, language-teaching, worldly-wise mother of two is not supposed to at forty-something.  But then, like I said, this is my first time!

For the past sixteen months, I have been waiting for my manuscript of 200 plus pages on MS Word to transform itself into a real book.  Life has, since signing the contract, been a roller coaster ride with highs of anticipation plummeting into lows of bitter disappointment. As the gestation period gets longer, my confidence gets lower.  I would have liked my literary agent to keep me updated and reassured, or to check on my literary well-being every so often, but it is not to be.

Long weeks of nail-biting anxiety on my side and utter silence from my agent’s motivate me to message him yet again. I ask him if there is any sign of life on Mars.  Back comes his written equivalent of monosyllabic reply – he doesn’t waste time on niceties or humour; unlike me he’s a busy young man – that the publishing is rescheduled for April 2013.  I want scream, rant and rave at whoever’s out there, but as I have mentioned elsewhere, my front door isn’t exactly sound-proof.  I want to tear up a few things – but then I’d have to pick up after myself… Frustration, thy name is ME!

All you first-timers out there who have not ‘arrived’, you have my deepest respect.  We are blood siblings.  And all you amazing authors who have faced rejection and delay – and survived to tell the tale, you are worth every penny you make and more.  I salute you!

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8 thoughts on “Delayed Reactions

  1. weirdo:)

    Well, take heart… yes the frustrations eat up your insides, but maybe whatever happens, happens for the best! your dream WILL come true – pretty much all the readers of this blog will * definitely* be waiting in line for you to sign our copies, and many more as well! the line will be VERY long, I suppose. 😀

    But on another note, if it frustrates you this much, why don’t you self-publish? (I don’t know if it’ll work in Dubai, though). Check out this site : http://www.hollylisle.com . Not only does it have a comprehensive guide on how to write, revise, make new plot lines, get over your writer’s block, and anything else that you need to know in order to write a book, she has also recently been self-publishing herself, and is helping other people do this too. You should go through it and see whether it’ll help you!

    Hope you book is out soon – can’t wait to read it! 😀

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    1. Thank you for your kind words. I so hope what you say comes true… I have not thought about self-publishing so far, but I’ll certainly check out the site. Patience has never been among my virtues, and so maybe the person up there is teaching it to me. I got a lot of relief once I wrote this piece out, so maybe I’ll just put Lesser Lives behind me and move on with life. It will happen when it will, I guess.

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  2. WOW! Impressed to hear that you have written a novel. All things happen in due course of time and so I am sure the novel will indeed be published soon. The very fact that you have been able to write a book is great achievement and I congratulate you on that. All the best with the publication.

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    1. Thank you so much. I’m sure there is a divine reason behind all this delay and heartbreak, and in my more rational moments I take heart from that. 😦 There are times though, when I’d such unbelievable despair… That’s life, isn’t it?

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      1. santosh kumar vk

        i cant rate your Blog,let me go thro your Novel once released,I shall give my views of it-Patience Patience;thats what makes or breaks a writer-regards

        Like

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